Dr Crackpot: Theories of the Bizarre Kind.


Pockets.

I never knew the value of pockets until I left my house one evening for the nearby market. As I anticipated it to be a short trip out, I found no incentive to change from my home attire, that is, my sarong and t-shirt. I would soon find this out to be a terrible, terrible mistake.

I found myself struggling to open the house door to let myself out because my hands were full with my wallet, hand phone, keys, Marlboro hard pack and lighter; all because my sarong had no pockets. Unwittingly handicapped, I struggled with the knob for a bit before managing to execute a maneuver worthy of a circus encore and somehow succeeded in turning the knob and letting myself out. As I walked to the market, I started thinking.

What if man never put pockets in pants and skirts (and whatever other variations of covering we put on under our waist lines these days). What if the concept of having these compartments where we can keep objects never occurred to human beings?

The answer is rather elementary. If we never invented pockets, the momentum would be for the human race to remain static and stay in the Stone Age. You see, without pockets in our pants or in those days, loincloth, humans would find it a hassle to travel around and seek new pastures because, as I found out rather painfully the other day during my short excursion to the market, traveling is very tedious without pockets. They would remain static in their own enclaves, giving rise to isolated pockets (excuse the pun) of settlements with little, if any contact between each other. The germ of civilization would have never been planted. There would also have been little initiative to invent new tools and gadgets, given that such inventions would have little appeal to our nomadic ancestors, as carrying them would impede their mobility.

So do appreciate pockets more. Think about the pivotal role it played in the advance of the human race. Hail to the inventor of pockets, whoever you are!

However, through empirical observations, I find that men utilize and appreciate pockets more than women. Men will stuff anything and everything in their pants pockets. Women, on the other hand, have a more brilliant idea. Handbags. But why exert weight on one wrist when you can distribute it across both thighs and both bum cheeks (and for owners of cargo pants, both deltoids as well)? Functionality is not much of a priority for the ladies, is it?

Then again, perhaps this issue is purely an egoistical one. Men find it more fulfilling and validating to have bulges in their pants more than women.

You heard it first from here.