What is Cool?

In this age of popular culture where trendiness and the ability to be within the "in" crowd serve as cultural capital in the social world, many amongst us are confronted with this daunting question: How can I be cool?

None of us would admit that our minds are constantly in the process of considering this question. Because if you do, then you're not cool. Which would render the original question self-defeating. But every second of our waking (and probably sleeping) lives, this question slithers its way across our subconscious mind, influencing the way we dress, speak, walk, laugh, write. Everything.

So how do you attain 'cool'-ness? If you try too hard, it ain't cool. But if you don't try at all, you're a slob. If you say you're cool, it ain't cool. But if you don't, then people might not notice. The answer to this conundrum then, is elementary. Cool-ness is inherent. You have it or you don't. But who's to say who is cool and who isn't, anyway? Who attributes and attains authority? Apparently, our enquiry has reached a dead end.

But I'll tell you who's definitely NOT cool. Those guys who organise government campaign roadshows around this island. I'm no cool guru, but have you even seen their shows? They'd have the same lame old acts time and again. These middle-aged men and women who assemble the acts must really thing that it melts the hearts of heartlanders every year to see adolescent boys and girls dancing around stage in native Hawaii costumes to some Beach Boys tune. And I do suppose they think it's trendy to have Elvis impersonators on stage every year. And balloon games are supposed to send a rush of blood to my head in excitement. Couple all of these with the tacky decorama, cheesy music and frighteningly excessive make up, and you cannot be blamed for thinking that you accidentally walked into a Cher concert. Or KISS, for that matter.

I came across pictures on the web taken at an anti-drug roadshow. Credit to the organizers for their valiant efforts. But they had little boys in loin cloth and headbands posing bare bodied on stage. A bunch of women were in striking red skirts dancing in synchronized fashion carrying rainbow-striped umbrellas. Ain't that cool?

Best part is, the article began with this proud boast:

"Put on your dancing shoes, move to the beat and feel the rhythm of DanceWorks! 2002, the dance event of the year!"

Dance event of the year? Even Woodstock 69 did not proclaim itself to be the concert of the year. Imagine the audacity of THESE lads!

The article ends with a tinge of glory and relief:

"To all participants of DanceWorks!, you are all winners for having had the dedication and determination to perform your wonderful dance routines on stage. We salute you for your hard work and for having taken that first step towards a healthy and drug free lifestyle. Till next year, do continue to move and groove;away from drugs!"

Perhaps the organizers believe that they have made use of their youthful sense of trendiness well by reaching out to the youth population with their message. Perhaps a heroin junkie decided to kick his habit for good after years of painful addiction because he was swayed by the cha-cha beats and colourful streams of banners at the concert.

I laud the organizers for their noble intentions in spreading the message. But still, the fact of the matter remains hauntingly, like the specter of a plague. You guys have absolutely no notion of "cool"-ness. You guys must have been seating on the organizing panel since the 80s. Back then, most of you still had hair. The more adventurous amongst you tried the afro then. A decade too late. Yes. You weren't cool even back then.

Make way for new and young talent. Get new personnel who will take your roadshows to greater new heights. What your gig needs is a fresh injection of concepts and ideas. The audience has suffered for far too long.

Just some feedback from an honest roadshow enthausiast.





post-article thoughts: a tinge too much passion and edge over nothing, wasn't it?

A gem I uncovered while going through the shelves of the school library.


do not say my people are lazy
because you do not know
you are only a critic, an onlooker
you cannot know or judge

do not think my people are weak
because they are gentle
do not think that we have only music
because we love life

do not condemn us as poor
because we have very few banks
see here the richness of our people
the brimful hearts that do not grab or grapple
we collect humanity from the sun and rain and man
transcending the business and the money

do not tell us how to live
or organise such nice associations and bodies
our society was an entity
before the advent of political philosophy

do not say -
because you do not know


Adapted in part from
Mohd. Hj. Salleh